Saturday, June 25, 2005

Public School Satire

I was surfing the net when I came upon this (thanks Protest Warrior):
It's a satirical column with fake comments by various prominent national figures. Courtesy of the People's Cube: Correct Opinions for Progressive Liberals, brought to you by the Karl Marx Treatment Center. This article is what I've been wanting to write ever since I've become a conservative. It attacks the traits of the public schools I always attack, only it compiles everything to a short-medium-length column and adds a sick twist of humor to it. I think even liberals would know what this one is hinting at. If they're too clueless and lazy, sucks for them, since they obviously haven't realized that they're going too far.

Anyway, for linkophobes, here's the article

Schoolmates describe Joe as an impressionable 15-year-old New York kid with a heightened sense of social justice. So nobody was surprised at his yesterday's attempt to take his own life. "We live in the worst country of the world, ever!" says Joe's best friend Michael. "We kill, steal, enslave, and torture everybody! The ozone hole is growing and the rainforest is dwindling. If we don't suffocate and die of skin cancer by the age of thirty, global warming will finish us up anyway. The Western civilization did it, man. There's no point in anything anymore. When I come home from school I often want to kill myself too. I once tried to eat some deadly pills in my mom's medicine cabinet like I saw in a movie, but I couldn't read the labels."

Indeed, the rate of suicide among students is dropping, experts say, because schools are failing to teach children basic skills they may need later in life. Thus, student A. of the Bronx chewed on five jumbo lead pencils hoping it would give him deadly lead poisoning, but miserably failed to cause even cramps. Student B. of Staten Island gave up his suicidal plans after spending two hours figuring out how to spell "suicide" in a one-paragraph "sewieside" note. And yesterday, Joe failed to tie a noose on his rope.

Untreated depression and academic stress admittedly remain to be the leading causes in high school suicides. "I don't understand where the stress is coming from," says Schools Chancellor Joel I. Klein . "Our students are no longer required to do any homework; we've already stripped the curriculum of any frills. There's nothing left except social awareness programs. The students are being taught at an early age how to protect themselves from sexual molestation, pregnancy, AIDS, how to sue their abusive parents, and not be afraid to experiment with their same-sex friends. Everyone is prepared for puberty years in advance. So it's hardly school that causes stress and depression in our kids. I think we should take a closer look at their social environment, and where our country is headed under the Bush administration."

"Joe has a heart of gold," the boy's mother told our correspondent. "He once cried all night after the teacher told him that human activities have caused the extinction of tens of thousands of species. He refuses to celebrate Columbus Day because the man stole land from the poor Indians. He feels guilty just about everything - that he's white, male, heterosexual, and has an Anglo-Saxon name. He wanted to change his name to Wafa Idris, the first Palestinian female suicide bomber , but couldn't find Palestine on the map and gave up in frustration. If I supported his decision, maybe he'd have a little more confidence in life now. He's so inept."

"This kid is a dumbass!" complains Joe's father. "I'm busting my ass at the union picketing rallies all days, so I was hoping at least school would teach him something useful. But he can't even tie a noose! What kind of teachers are they anyway? Don't they have a union or something?"

"Blame the lack of funding," says teachers-union president Randi Weingarten. "The only source of stress in education that I can see is the lack of funding. We're not going to teach the kids anything unless there's enough funding.

"Only a heartless person would disagree that we need a safety net for future young adults like Joe, who can't do even basic tasks," a prominent New York Democratic Senator Chuck Shumer summed up Joe's suicide story. "We can't afford to eliminate any of the welfare programs. In fact, we need more! But how can we sustain a growing population of people like Joe, if Bush keeps cutting taxes? It's a humanitarian disaster of cosmic proportions waiting to happen."

But the future for Joe may not be so bleak, after all. "We admit students to Brooklyn College School of Education based on their sense of social justice rather than skills and intellect," says Professor Deborah Shanley. "Even if his grades aren't great, a conscientious student like Joe will easily beat selfish overachievers who care mostly about their own grades. It's a lesson of social justice for everyone involved. We believe that an education centered on social justice prepares the highest quality of teachers. Joe is perfect material for our program and we hope he will make an excellent teacher who will actively shape our social, cultural, and political future.

That's it for now. You're missing out on a lot if you don't go to the actual site. The comments and pictures are as hilarious as the article itself (well, save for one disturbing picture).

Thursday, June 23, 2005


I'm sure you've heard enough liberals B&M about the "lack of equality." They've already gone too far in the economic and social domains. Now their campaign for so-called equality infesting others areas, namely the educational domain. Many of you probably remember James Chang, the former staff member whose house got vandalized. Well, he's not coming back to RV, but his friend called me with a little anecdote of an occurrence at a neighboring school. He had plenty to rant about.

He was taking a test on physical science a week ago. In the section comparing physical and chemical changes, one question read, "A gas pumper accidentally spills some gas onto the ground and makes a puddle. You come back to the gas station the next day and notice that the gas puddle was gone without a trace. Is the disappearance a physical or chemical change?" Anyone who knows basic chemistry would immediately spot that this question is vague and open to interpretation. Well, James' friend answered chemical change. He was "wrong." The teacher said it was a physical change because the gas had evaporated completely. Technically, it could be chemical as well because the gas could have combusted (burned up). When he pointed this fact out to the teacher, the teacher replied, "well, we didn't learn that yet" and sent him back to his seat, giving him no points for that extra knowledge that "misled" him.

Un-freaking-believable. This is the first time I've seen somebody Punished for knowing more than the curriculum teaches. Not only is that a blatant chipping away at one's individual responsibility, but it's implicitly preaching that we should be 100% obedient to the government (teacher) and only know what it tells us we should know, or we'll face serious consequences. James' friend knew why the teacher didn't give him the point. He has had a history of knowing more than his peers on the subject of physical science. The teacher hates students like him--the type who strives to get good grades. She wants students to learn for the sake of learning, and not just to get good grades. While this is good intentioned, she fails to acknowledge that she teaches at a high school. Grades are the most important there if one expects to go to college. Somewhere along the road, she got corrupted into thinking that the root of the problem was the burgeoning prodigy population, and began to dislike them passionately. The reason for this intense prejudice is unknown.

The friend also knows that the teacher is a hardcore liberal committed to academic equality, and has been known for setting unreasonably low standards and massively inflating grades. On the midterm exam, the worst student in the class scored less than 50%, but the teacher gave her a D-, stating "I didn't let you fail." Couple this with taking away points from James' friend. That's what I call "redistributing wealth." That's right. Academia now has its own form of socialism. Since the smart and hard-working kids don't "need" the extra points, the higher they score, the more points they lose, and all those points taken away by force are redistributed evenly among the low scorers. Obviously the teacher doesn't know that this practice doesn't do anything good at all. If anything, it DISCOURAGES the more motivated kids from doing outside research and ENCOURAGES laziness among the low scorers, since they all know they have a cushion to fall back on should they f*ck up badly on a test. Does this promote learning for the sake of learning? Not at all. I seriously hope this does not become the universal practice in public schools. If it does, I seriously hope that the local, state, and federal governments reconsider their funding to the public education system.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

School's out

At least for me, thank god. It ended rather shittily though (pardon the cussing; it's part of un-PC). Took a US History exam, which was my last exam of the year. It wasn't that bad, though the essay question had a slight liberal partisan. "You're President Bush's advisor. He needs your advice on 'strong leadership in times of change.' Use past examples (e.g. Lincoln and FDR) to tell him what he needs to do." Still, I respect the teacher for actually giving us a question that requires critical and lateral thinking instead of fact-spewing.

In other news, a few anti-war students (the more prominent ones) were distributing an alarmingly racist cartoon. I myself read a copy that was posted as a flyer. It featured Bush as a chimp, though he actually spoke perfect English ;). That's nothing out of the ordinary. However, the portrayal of Condi was a blatant attempt at ruining Black Republicans' images. She was a stereotyped Jim Crow, only with a hairstyle and her teeth were buck teeth. As if that wasn't enough, she spoke in pidgin and every frame portrayed the White House as a plantation and her as a house slave. Even though I'm anti-PC, I won't stand for that shit. It was a blatantly racist attempt at defaming Blacks (especially conservatives). What did the administration do about it? Absolutely nothing. I guess it's "freedom of speech" only when liberals post these things up, right? Out of respect for school rules, "academic freedom," and my agenda of exposing liberal hate, I left the comic up to see how many people it would piss off. More on this tomorrow.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Coming out of the closet

No, I'm not gay, though I would love to say I am just to piss a liberal off. Minority conservatives are liberals' worst enemies, since they're the ones who are quickest to see through liberal propaganda, and consider America to be great compared to the bulk of the world's countries. For the curious ones, the ones who are nitpicky about one's background, and to further piss off a liberal, I've made subtle hints before about my ethnicity, but in case you've missed out, I am not white. This shouldn't come as a surprise to you, as the number of minority--especially black, woman, and some hispanic--conservatives grows daily.

The race that is often left out of any and all liberal bitchings about affirmative action, which races associate with what groups, and whatnot, is the yellow race. This is because there are so few Asian concervatives. I know that Asiatics don't necessarily represent all of Asia, as southern, northern, and some southeastern Asians almost comprise separate races on their own. However, collectively, Asian conservatives make up very little of the US population. This puts me among the few and the proud (sorry Marines), as I haven't succumbed by my country's constant bashing of Western civilization.

After all of that, you're probably wondering which part of Asia I am from. The answer to that question is China. I am 100% Chinese, born in China back in its pre-capitalist stages. I am the son of a CCP and CP-USA member, and the grandson of a Red Dragon (CCP army) veteran. I've lived a humble life, and to this day, am still very lazy. I lived in the perfect liberal-breeding environment.

What makes me conservative? My mom's constant bushwhacking and praise of Mao Ze Dong. Even with full knowledge that Mao took the Chinese economy to sh*t, murdered her own family members, she still sees him as an almost sun god. Top that off with the fact that she thinks the Chinese peasentry knew what was best for the country. Granted there was much greed and much assh*lism on the Nationalist side, but at least they were educated. If I were thinking about a good present, I'd go with the peasentry, but a wise man once told me that Communists are either stuck in the future, or stuck in the present. Thinking realistically and planning ahead, I'd rather have Mr. Warlord (Chiang Kai-Shek [Chang Jie Shi]) run my country than Mr. Fake Bleeding Heart (Mao Ze Dong).

Reinforcing my conservative base is my hate for China. Though I'd be better off there socially, if I were to criticize the fake democracy (even constructively), mention the world "religion," much less practice one, especially Buddhism and Christianity, or praise Taiwan, I'd be round up, tortured, castrated, bled to death, truncated, publically hanged, and then cut into tiny little pieces and thrown in the directions of the wind. The last statement is exaggerationg, but you get the point. I love this country, because if I were to suddenly turn liberal again and spit on our soldiers and conservatives, I will have the full knowledge that such soldiers and such conservatives are constantly battling for my right to spit on them. The opposite can be said about most other countries in the world. Fortunately, another socialist changeover is not likely to happen.

Among the conservative readers, I hope this post doesn't change the way you look at me. Among the liberals, I hope I've at least clarified that anti-Americanism will win over few liberals, and that "the plan" keeping all minorities liberal is failing miserably. My core message to you is essentially "STFU," but if you really love this country, I'll give you a chance at professing that love. Please get out of your little propaganda bubbles and have a shot at my kind of tolerance.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Bigots from Kansas

There's quite a bit to vent on the whole David Parker issue, especially about the way my town's been dealing with it. I've been reading all our letters to the editor on the issue, and further ones in response the rally. All of them boil down to "stop the homophobic agenda" and "anyone against gay marriage, or agrees with David Parker, is a bigot." Many of you will hate me when say this, but I am a champion of various gay rights, including adoption and, that's right, marriage.

I however, am in full agreement with Mr. Parker when he says he wishes to be notified if his SIX YEAROLD SON is to learn about homosexual and transgender families. Teaching homosexuality to the kids at such a young age would invariably prove that homosexuality is indeed a choice. And to borrow from our gracious webmaster, "if [you're a dude and] you choose an *ssh*l* over a vagina, you are f*cked in the head." From a liberal point of view, I can only see more hate for homosexuals result. From a conservative point of view, we'll step out our doors. The simple fact is that kids are too young to learn about love for the opposite sex, much less love for the same sex. I'm sure all of you (well, save for people beyond a certain generation) remember your cooties shots in first grade.

Then there's transgender. I didn't know what a penis was until fifth grade. Before then, it was always "peepee," "weewee," or "pointy thing." Call me close-minded, but if you don't start learning about your own reproductive organs until fifth grade, what gives the Gay Gestapo the right to teach you about someone else's reproductive organs (plurality emphasized) in FIRST grade? I can't think of an answer for that, and I can't even imagine WHAT is being said in that classroom, and WHAT the students walk away with.

Apparently this has penetrated deep into the school system. Gerard and I got into a conversation with a lady after the rally. While I perceived her as more an optimistic conspiracy theorist than anything else, she also was pretty knowledgable about public schools. She introduced us to a book called "The Dumbing Down of America," by an author whose name I can't recall. As Public School Battleline Correspondant, I will try my hardest to get a good copy of that book and read it. Otherwise, I definitely buy just about everything people say about the current state of the public school system.

Getting back to the Parker case, the administration was extremely irresponsible in the handling of this case. Not only did it take a long time to respond, but they got the Parkers' kid's age and grade wrong. If you also read the exchange of letters, you'll see that the administration frequently dodges the points and questions the Parkers make. This demonstrates one thing, and that is that the administration didn't even bother reading the Parkers' emails. And who gets shafted? David Parker.

I'm very sympathetic, and if I found myself in Mr. Parker's standoff with the administration and realized how much they're screwing me over, I'd have illegally obtained a firearm and gunned them all down. Fortunately, Mr. Parker only went as far as refusing to leave until a reasonable deal is reached. Since the public school system doesn't like conservatives, they decided to arrest, and later prosecute him for trespassing, and now he's banned from all Lexington schools. He's a relative newcomer to this state too. Welcome to Massachusetts Mr. Parker, because Massachusetts sure as hell doesn't welcome you (someone should tear down those signs at our state borders, since they're pure bullsh*t).

Just today, the issue permeated MY school system, since the rally was held in my town (keep googlin' me DC liberals. I hope you guys die doing it. My hacker friends still can't find any info on me). My first period English teacher, who I thought was very conservative, initiated a disicussion on Pre-Socratic philosophy. I loved that subject. But gradually we went on tangent after tangent, until we got onto a topic about faith and free speech. That's when she seized the opporutnity and asked us "do you think bigots from Kansas should be allowed to use our churches and public spaces to preach their views?" It was obvious what she was hinting at, and I became furious. I left the room to go to the bathroom, and when I came back, I'm glad that that discussion was closed ([un]fortunately, our whacked out foreign policy liberals still hated gay marriage, and that put her in her place).

Jesus Chr*st. It's one thing to tell your students what you think It's another to use such strong language to criticize a political wing. Granted, based on what Gerard told me, that rally used rather caustic language as well, but that event was political; the classroom is not. While David Parker and some of his "bigots from Kansas" did--in a moment of testosterone--disrupt some diversity rallies, like I said, even though I'm committed to balance, I'd have done much worse.

So the Gay Gestapo members can shove it. Go ahead and keep the GSA's, but keep your Little Black Books out of the hands of students, and keep your issues out of the elementary schools. minds are young, inquisitive, creative, and impressionable. We should be teaching them how to speak publically, how to debate, and how to think critically, not how to tolerate every single person and thing on this earth (except conservatives, of course).

P.S. For people in my local area, look for my letter to the editor on this issue in the near future. If it's not there, try the Opinion section. If not in either, it only shows how liberals deliberately censor the media to indoctrinate adults.