Thursday, October 13, 2005

Greetings Fellow Rednecks

Long time no post from this slave to the system. My school's actually become sensible. Our newspaper recognized the need for a convervative editorial writer to counteract the large amount of liberal opinion. Yours truly was invited (probably because I'm the only conservative in my school who can actually write). Well, this opens quite a few new doors. Like any good conservative, I introduced myself by declaring my support for the war. I wasn't blatant about it, but a scathing column against Cindy Sheehan was enough to get my name and reputation out there.

Reverberations came fast. One of our school's radical liberals confronted me within a week after the newspaper printed to tell me that I was an obnoxious jerk. What was ironic about the situation was that she interrupted me while I was practicing my instrument with a few friends of mine, pulled me into the stairwell (where sounds tend to echo), and proceeded to yell at me. One word: hypocrite.

A few days after that, the campus became plastered with "STOP THE WAR" posters from the October 29th Coalition, a peacenik organization with ties to United for Peace and Justice. I actually planning on doing some plastering of my own. For every STOP THE WAR poster I see on there, I'll surround it with four Protest Warrior posters. Hippie-ism shouldn't be allowed to go unchecked.

As if those weren't enough, one of our school's English teachers is having all of her students write me letters telling me what's wrong with my column. Given the nature of our students and the school's English curriculum, I'm expecting plenty of letters telling me "you're stupid and your argument's invalid because you didn't include any direct quotes from reliable sources." Great. School-sanctioned hate mail. Don't teachers have a legal obligation to report that kind of stuff? This one's giving it out as an assignment.

There's a glimmer of hope though. A Republican English teacher (yes, that sounds as contradictory as "Minority Conservative." Even worse, she's married to a Socialist) had her students do a similar assignment, except the letters her students are writing are recommended to be objective. While I still expect hate mail because we're a suburban school filled with spoiled teenagers, I would expect less deconstructionist letters, and maybe even a few letters of support. I've yet to read any of the letters, but our readers should definitely expect further coverage on this issue. Our newspaper took a huge gamble by recruiting me. I'll ensure that they get the biggest return from it.


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